Our Flower......Mother's Nature's Child

Our Flower.....Mother Nature's Child


"Who am I; I am the flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow!" Our friend, every one's friend, Frieda, knew who she was. She laughed as she ordered Sausage Gravy and Biscuits, "It's so delicious, like I need this! she laughed, "What this short and squat body needs is a diet, but that's a project for tomorrow," she quickly added with that beautiful twinkle in her vibrant dancing eyes.

Listening to Frieda, one quickly realized, this powerful personality with the gift of gab, could lift that proverbial "dark cloud" in an instant. An accomplished artist, her works brightened not only the landscapes of eastern Connecticut but the lives of everyone she touched. Frieda's life, reaching beyond the limits of the community in which she lived and worked, a legacy she will continue to orchestrate from her heavenly body. As I look out into my preserve, the emerald green leaves of the Sweet Gum tree, the towering Dawn Cypress stately standing guard over Mother Nature's children, I shall remember Frieda...........I thank her for sharing with me the names of these beautiful trees in my "new" backyard.

After Mr. Bill's retirement and our move to Florida, it was Frieda and Del that visited first. Gone from Fred's News just over a month, the holiday season upon us, our world brightened by two angels...Frieda and Del. Her eyes glistening with tears at the sight of her friends, "don't cry Frieda, it's really us, we miss you!" Our conversation continuing as though the six week interval had never happened. Frieda and I often made a game of calling each other to wish a "Happy Anything" day. There were Happy Birthday, Happy Easter, Happy Halloween, even Happy first day of any season phone calls. What we enjoyed most...... our" Happy to talk with you" calls. The game plan was to see who could get "the one up" on the other. Oddly enough, I called two days before Memorial Day wishing her and Del the best. Knowing she would not be at home, I left the message, excited I would be "one up" on her, wishing I could hear her comment to Del as she listened to the message. Frieda called me just hours before she would be "given notice", the process of returning to her heavenly home had begun, she had served her God well, it was time. This pint sized dynamo's work on earth now complete, she has left a legacy and brightened many lives. Our conversations always ended the same, "Love you!"

Frieda was most happy when tending her "children". She worried the harsh New England winters would hurt her "babies" in the Norwich Rose Garden. As soon as the warmth of the Spring sun awakened them, Frieda began her diligent primping. The Spring "cleaning" of her beloved City of Norwich sent a message to the its citizens, "if Frieda was beginning her Spring thing, then the world is emerging from it's long winter's sleep!"

Today I smile remembering the story, "if you were with Frieda and Del and didn't hear Frieda's voice, she was sleeping!" A quirky yet comforting feeling arises from within....."gone way too soon, she is our flower that quickly faded, here today, gone tomorrow" silenced, her voice now a memory but so vibrant I can still hear her...."I am still with you, think of me often, I am the wind that rustles the leaves of your Sweet Gum tree, I am the rain that nourishes the towering Dawn Cypress, and don't forget my friend, love you!" Frieda touched our lives and the lives of so many.....our conversation, over and yes, my friend never forget, "love you."

Conversations un-plugged!

Over the years,conversations ran the gamut from ""blah, blah, blah to "Dear God, I can't believe what the hell I am hearing!"  Although our ears were privy to many open conversations, I cannot fathom nor process the notion people actually thought they were speaking in a non audible whisper.  At this moment I can only imagine the masses reading this little blog, panicking! "Did they hear me when....?" or "Did I ever tell anyone anything embarrassing or private while I sat in Fred's News?" or maybe it is more along the lines of "OMG she has lost her mind, she can't name names or moments or let the proverbial cat out of the bag or perhaps could or would she and why?"  How about the thought..."If she heard it, who else did?" and best  of all, my personal favorite, "Do you think, Mr. Bill heard it?" Egads not the EGG-NAZI!  So let us clarify a few of the finer points as everyone tries to reboot the twenty odd years of daily conversations at Freds. I shall try to answer in the order in which these thoughts cross one's mind. "Oh yes. yes, yes we heard!  My hair has turned gray because of some of the crap I heard, I cannot blame it all on my children!"  As for the embarrassing or private conversations, "Did we hear them?" Again, a most definite, "Oh yeah!"  Now for those who realize my photographic memory and ability to recall the juicy morsels of garbage that my delicate ears were subjected to for so many years.........."what the hell, your secrets are safe with me although I cannot vouch for the Egg-Nazi; luckily he doesn't use a computer and if he does recall a "private moment conversation", he just laughs and shares it with me and I already KNOW!

Take a deep breath and enjoy as we try to cover some of the more interesting conversations.  As we all know sex gets everyone's attention, so whether it is sex with a boy/girl/ both friend, sex with your spouse or someone else's spouse, too much sex in too little time or not enough sex, perhaps where this sex occurred, who caught you or who you caught or peeped at having sex, who uses sex enhancement drugs or sex toys, we've heard it all...trust me no names, but sex is number one on the list of private overheard conversations. By the way excuses after being caught came pretty close to being the number one topic of secret conversations at Freds; My personal favorite,"when he caught me I told him OMG, I must of been sleep walking!" REALLY!  Then there was the lady whose young daughter found her mother's sex toy and threw it out the window at the contractor working on the building. Of course there is the guy who took one of the little blue pills and damn near had a heart attack, also the one who went to the hospital after a full night of sex with a sore and tired "woody" who refused to go to sleep (in plain english, a boner that wouldn't deflate!).  Perhaps you think I have gone off the deep end, please do not worry.....if the conversations I have heard over the years did not send me there, I guess I must be pretty stable; strange and stable at best. Affairs were also made for great listening. Admittingly, even I was pretty shocked by some.  For those who know me, it takes alot to really shock me.  Mr, Bill and I often joke....we were scarred!

Money another top priority hush hush topic.  Who has has it, who doesn't, who stole it and from whom, who gambled it away and that conversation also had sex in it. While the person was gambling, the spouse was taking a gamble with some one else. No worries, names are with held to protect the innocent and get others wondering. 

In the years at Fred's I often wondered if bartender's experienced all this and more so I decided to do some research into the field of "overheard private conversations" by consulting a few of the bartenders I do know.  Seems they have been given quite the education as well.  A sense of relief came over me, but then a sadness as well....these moments at Fred's were NOT unique, just interesting as hell.
 

Write my bio.....Scary!

Almost a year since I began this little blog and although I don't always post as often as I should, it's the other things that consume large amounts of my time.  As for writing, it is something I thoroughly enjoy.  At times the swirling thoughts have a hard time coming together, one usually wants to get top billing before the first one is done speaking, kind of rude and exactly the way I project, not the rudeness, just the thoughts. "Get it straight" laments the Egg-Nazi, "let your brain get it all together, then open your mouth!"  So I try.......and even the mouth doesn't listen to me! 

Dear friend Glenn is in the processing of publishing this little blog into a book.........he does have my eternal love and admiration in accepting this challenge.  A challenge it is but even more challenging is he needs my bio! Challenging for Mr. Cheney, yikes! scary for me.  It also makes me realize how long I've been around, so hopefully it will be a bio not an obit! Being a part of so many organizations, groups, committees and owning a successful business,  definitely asks questions concerning my sanity.  Am I a glutton for punishment, insane, do I suffer from A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder), or am I really a multi-tasker?  Please Richard, refrain from answering, I alone question my sanity.  Would I do it all again....oh absolutely!  Would I change anything, any part, any moment?  Adamantly....NO!  I can now sit back, smile and no one knows why.  Within my heart lies a certain sense of accomplishment, no regrets just the yearning to do and be more, no resting on my so-called "laurels", which would probably develop into much larger "laurels" if allowed the time to just "ponder"!

Nurturing my children must top my list of accomplishments...it is probably the one part of my life that has and will always have my full attention.  Hmmm, a flash tells me most of what I've done with my life was for my family!  It still is because I don't think I have a selfishness that wants it to be for just me....I enjoy sharing.  I must of played well in the sand box as a kid........my loving and devoted Sister might disagree....the only time she pissed me off, really, was when she'd "borrow" clothes.  I never really understood that though, she was tall, lanky and so slender.  I was short and dumpy so "what could she have possible borrowed?"  Was it that thing called "a figment" or was it just being sisters, in any case, no regrets!

Upon leaving Connecticut, I promised myself, "do something for me." Stupid promise though, I have always done things for me, so the question is, what?  If compiling up accomplishments and sharing those with the ones you love, makes you happy, then I have been doing that for myself, all of my adult life.  This attitude was developed as a result of loving nurturing parents, that as a couple were really "one".

My smugness (is that a word?  If not, let it be mine) is nothing more than an inner peace.  Whatever I set my mind upon and my sights on, I can do.  I hope I have relayed that to my children, if it something you want, your inner being yearns for it, then go for it.  It is my hope we (my family) have left some sort of legacy in the little Town of Sprague or at least some G-damn great memories.  Our move to Florida has allowed me to start stockpiling more.  The Egg-Nazi, rests on his "laurels" not always by choice, he is now "Mom and the boys" biggest cheerleader.  Ain't that a pisser, as long as he doesn't wear cheerleading attire!

So as I sit down and begin writing my bio, I will try not to procrastinate.  Glenn would like to have it all done and published in time for the Sprague Historical Society celebration.  The little book will put a "HYSTERICAL" touch on a historical celebration.  Citizens of this Town and it's neighbors provided me and mine with a successful life, filled with cherished and not so cherished memories. They are a quirky cast of characters and are a diverse bunch.  These people have filled my life with mostly happy memories, some  ended much to soon.  I am fortunate and proud to know each one.  Fred's News may have been "A Constant Place", it's Cast of Characters will always be a "Constant Part of My Life."

Hoagie...the Man

Time passes at lightening speed, one day quickly passes to the next, as the week ends, a new one begins and I have only written one blog.  Stories that constantly swirl through mind obviously do not always make it to print, they remain in my mind's cyberspace or as some might jest...."airspace".  Time is not my friend these days, the summer tourist season is upon us, my new batch of college students, eager to "earn their ears" at Disney has arrived.  Although most adjust well, the homesick blues, especially with my internationals, is in full swing.  I urge the well adjusted to act as "buddies", becoming some one's new best friend.  For the most part, it works!  Only one threatening to leave!

Although these young people have no idea about a Fred's News, the Town of Sprague or its Cast of Characters, their antics, conversations and lives, very much mirror each other:  Young international students at the Academy of the Holy Family, high school students eager to learn the "tricks of the trade" at Fred's News and the many regulars that mentored all of them through this process.

As a young wife and mom, I became a resident of Sprague, my first home away from home, a full ten minutes or so from my childhood residence.  Moving to West Main Street in the Village of Baltic, might have seemed a world away from the security of my parents, yet my new found neighbor Alphonse also affectionately known at Fat Girard, welcomed me to the neighborhood.  Although many still call him Fat, another alias, Hogan always seemed more appropriate.  The Egg -Nazi and I, in the spirit of giving everyone a nickname, simply refer to our friend as "Hoagie, the Man".

Hoagie fascinated my children in their early formative years.  His contraption that drove night crawlers from the ground, served as a source of amazement for the avid but young fisherman.  His homemade backyard smoker, sending pungent aromas of smoked eels into the humid summer night, made many forget those slimy black snake-like creatures were a pretty tasty treat.  Our Chef Matthew wasn't more than three years of age when he dined on these tiny morsels.  Admittedly he hadn't seen them in their slimy, wiggling life.  Son Mark, not as eager to try the tasty treat.  As our boys matured and fished without parental guidance, any eels caught were donated to Hoagie.

Hoagie loved to cook, donating his time to the Fire Department: whether feeding weary firefighters, planning and orchestrating a multitude of fundraisers (pancakes breakfasts, ham and bean suppers) celebrating milestones, hosting dinners for fallen comrades or just cooking for the members, Hoagie never complained.  He may of hollered, ordered and demanded much from the many volunteers that entered into his "kitchen" but the fact is everyone loved it as much as Hoagie the Man.

My favorite signs for the Pancake Breakfast, were those that depicted a hand pointing towards the Fire Dept. stating the date, time and a poignant message:  Don't eat your pancakes here (Fred's News) support your local Fire Dept.  We allowed only Hoagie the Man to post these signs and only for the Fire Dept.  Somewhere is my vast collection of photos,there is one of Hoagie the Man next to his sign, pointing the way.

As a Fred's News regular, Hoagie visited everyday until he was no longer able.  Complications from a spider bite, coupled with diabetes slowed down my friend.  We talk of him often, we laugh at memorable "Hoagie stories" and we wonder how our friend is.  He is now the last of his group of friends that frequented Fred's News.  He organized fishing trips for them, served as their sounding board when their lives needed direction and staunchly defended them when he felt they were in need.  Hoagie was a true friend, a man I admire and miss dearly. His sense of humor, so devious, delicious and dry.  That man could tell a story: one never knew if it was the truth or not, but what the hell it was great. 

We have tried to think of the many people (characters) that were part of Fred's News, Hoagie the Man is one of the little restaurant's leading actors, not because he visited on a regular basis but because he has had such an influence on my life.  He has been one of my most avid cheerleaders; in my earlier years a great mentor, he has served as my healer in times of sickness ( his "hot toddy" a miracle cure) and my healer when he thought my spirit needed a lift.  But mostly he is my friend.     

Lights out...Lock the Door!

"What do you want to be when you grow old?" Quite a different question from the simple "what do you want to be when you grow up?" The competitive nature of my personality answers the same for both....successful.  While friends decided their future, I decided, whatever I set my sights on, I would do it to the best of my ability. Our lifetime happens once, do it right.  Fame, wealth and "good looks" are grea,t but to be successful you need none of those.  A peaceful heart, soul and mind are true measures of success.  If I leave that legacy to my children and those that know me, then I am truly successful. 

Does that make me "a goodie two shoes?" Absolutely not, my faults are many, yet my weaknesses are also my strengths. Blessed with the gift of gab and a tangent personality, Fred's News was my "soap box".  While it allowed me the opportunity to work along side my husband, it also provided my children with their Mom close at hand.  I may not have always been able to attend to their every need,  butI listened,watched, offered my thoughts, encouragement and support.  I pushed, prodded and at times demanded they do things.  I scolded, I laughed, I cried with them and our Fred's News family.  Our life in the fishbowl, was theirs as well. They experienced work, they saw success, they may have envied others, never quite understanding, many envied them.  They knew what they wanted to do with their lives and what they definitely did not want to do.  Perhaps it is only now, they truly understand the impact Fred's News had on their lives, both positively and in the negative sense as well.

Would I do it all over again?  Absolutely!  Do we miss it?  To that I ask, in what sense?  Do I  miss getting up at three in the morning, six or seven days a week?  Do I miss fifteen hour days, arguing with suppliers about inferior product, we demanded the best.  To be successful you must!  One time Matt the Bread Man commented:  "In the world of family owned restaurants, Fred's News sets the standard!"  It was nice to know someone recognized that.

The Egg-Nazi, a type A personality (that's a news flash) always joked "I'm the "hoss" she's the boss!  Did we argue? Oh yeah and at times viciously.  Only a few, children included were privy to that show.  In the end, the peaceful heart usually prevailed.  But it is not about victory, it's about life, how you live it, what impact you have on your family, friends and the remaining masses.  If we learn from our mistakes, hopefully we won't repeat them.  If we set realistic goals, detours along the way won't matter, success is all that matters.  Would I like to be famous, wealthy and "good looking".  That would be nice, but again my heart in its simple beauty, is peaceful and perhaps somewhat famous, it is still a work in progress.

So, Fred's News is a memory, a good and successful one at that.  Did I cry as we locked the door for a final time. Yes, but I cried as I carefully packed a lifetime worth of memories for the next chapter in their journey.  I found my children's baby teeth and shoes, packed neatly in the bottom of my cedar chest.  I found cards made by their tiny hands and cards made by loving customers of Fred's News.  I re-packed these memories and cried.  It wasn't so much sadness, I looked forward to our new journey, it was knowing others would miss us, there would be a void in their lives, yet I knew they would survive, we all do.  As for my children, they ARE my children, I never worry they will disappear from my life.  I have been successful in raising them all.  Yes, they have faults, we all do. The Egg-Nazi, my soul mate, best friend and confidant, at times reminded me, "take it easy, look at it through others eyes." 

At times I close my eyes and visualize in my mind the little restaurant called Fred's News and the impact it has had on so many lives.  I can still smell the early morning air, muffins baking, home fries cooking, voices calling out..."You opened yet?"  "Come in my friend, coffee is on....conversation is good, friends are near."
Fred's News was a  "Constant Place" because of the two people that owned it and their children. Yes, the Egg-Nazi was the "hoss" but the boss is an unassuming average upper middle aged woman, whose fierce and demanding tangent personality, brought out both the good and bad in many, yet always found a way to make that person feel special.  In the hustle and bustle of the everyday demanding schedule of Fred's News, her growing children, and Fred's News family, she found a way to be successful, to have a peaceful heart and soul and to move on and grow.  She, hopefully along with her husband and children has left a legacy in the little Town of Sprague.  She cried as she locked the door, but she did not look back...her job was done,  She would miss all that she nurtured, she knew she and her brood would be missed as well, yet there was confidence in her gait...she had done well, it was time to move on, time to grow.  Fred's News will be remembered for it is "A Constant Place"