"Make it Good..Kid!"

After reading my morning paper, enjoying a "spot of tea", (missing Fred's News coffee), my mind began pulling apart a weekly column that appears every Monday in our local paper.."Below the Beltway"  written weekly by Gene Weingarten, today explores the age old question....who make better drivers...Women or Men.  Much like the age old question, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" people will, because they can, argue the finer points of these questions. 

Fred's News, although located in a small New England town, witnessed many driving, near disasters.  Mostly fender benders, some borderline serious, some unavoidable, others absolutely the product of stupidity.  Reading back over some of my older blogs, we have shared a few just in passing.

Again we mention "the Brothers" and their nephew, "Johann, the Nephew..Great", but this time it is Johann's younger brother...whom we shall simply call Chris.  Chris lived with the parents in California, but just a few months over the age of sixteen, he came for a visit, actually spending the summer months at his great uncles.."the Brothers".  I might also mention, there were two great aunts, "the Brothers'," sisters.This made a grand total of four siblings living in the same family homestead, just as they had done their entire lives.  The "Sisters" two lovely older women,  ran the household...impeccably!  Upon arriving into this household, Chris was treated, by all four siblings, much as they treated his brother, "Johann the Nephew..Great", as the child none of them ever had.  It was their time to spoil, dote and be at Chris' beck and call.  He loved it!   Chris did not have his driver's license..yet.   "oh please teach me to drive, please, please!" he begged Uncle Fred....one of "the Brothers".  Uncle Fred, after a lengthy false protests, agrees. His new Sterling car would never be the same.  Johann, the Nephew...Great, tried to convince Uncle Fred, he really should re-think this decision.  Uncle Fred reminded him of the time they headed to Boston, Massachusetts.  As the story goes, Uncle Fred drove the first leg of the journey, after doing whatever it was they were suppose to be doing in Boston, Uncle Fred throws the keys to Johann, the Nephew..Great.  "Take me home, I am too tired to drive, be careful, I want to arrive in one piece, don't wake me until we are in the driveway..HOME!"  Needless to say, Johann, the Nephew..Great is thrilled, so off they go.  Uncle Fred in la-la land almost immediately, Johann the Nephew..Great, at the the controls.  Two hours later Uncle Fred awakens..."Where the hell are we?" he questions.  Johann, the Nephew..Great, "Don't know Uncle, I don't recognize anything.  Thought if I kept driving something would look familiar."  For the record, they were in New Hampshire, two hours north of Boston, instead of southwest in Connecticut.

Uncle Fred did teach Chris to drive that summer, his new Sterling suffering some minor damage as they pulled into a spot directly in front of Fred's News.  Having pulled to far forward, blocking the driveway, Uncle Fred directs Chris, "Back up fool, you are blocking the driveway, be careful, make it good, everybody is watching!"  Chris did make it good, sideswiping the telephone pole on the edge of the driveway, putting a rather large, threw the paint, down to the quick, scratch, along the passenger side of the new Sterling.  As everyone watched they drove forward, again, Uncle Fred's arms going in every direction as he is screaming at Chris.  Once parked, they entered Fred's News, Chris looking highly embarrassed, Uncle Fred asking for something stronger than ice tea.  Good to his word, when it was time to go, he handed the keys to Chris, "Make it good kid, everybody is watching! Chris did get his license, Uncle Fred's Sterling...a new paint job!