Lights out...Lock the Door!

"What do you want to be when you grow old?" Quite a different question from the simple "what do you want to be when you grow up?" The competitive nature of my personality answers the same for both....successful.  While friends decided their future, I decided, whatever I set my sights on, I would do it to the best of my ability. Our lifetime happens once, do it right.  Fame, wealth and "good looks" are grea,t but to be successful you need none of those.  A peaceful heart, soul and mind are true measures of success.  If I leave that legacy to my children and those that know me, then I am truly successful. 

Does that make me "a goodie two shoes?" Absolutely not, my faults are many, yet my weaknesses are also my strengths. Blessed with the gift of gab and a tangent personality, Fred's News was my "soap box".  While it allowed me the opportunity to work along side my husband, it also provided my children with their Mom close at hand.  I may not have always been able to attend to their every need,  butI listened,watched, offered my thoughts, encouragement and support.  I pushed, prodded and at times demanded they do things.  I scolded, I laughed, I cried with them and our Fred's News family.  Our life in the fishbowl, was theirs as well. They experienced work, they saw success, they may have envied others, never quite understanding, many envied them.  They knew what they wanted to do with their lives and what they definitely did not want to do.  Perhaps it is only now, they truly understand the impact Fred's News had on their lives, both positively and in the negative sense as well.

Would I do it all over again?  Absolutely!  Do we miss it?  To that I ask, in what sense?  Do I  miss getting up at three in the morning, six or seven days a week?  Do I miss fifteen hour days, arguing with suppliers about inferior product, we demanded the best.  To be successful you must!  One time Matt the Bread Man commented:  "In the world of family owned restaurants, Fred's News sets the standard!"  It was nice to know someone recognized that.

The Egg-Nazi, a type A personality (that's a news flash) always joked "I'm the "hoss" she's the boss!  Did we argue? Oh yeah and at times viciously.  Only a few, children included were privy to that show.  In the end, the peaceful heart usually prevailed.  But it is not about victory, it's about life, how you live it, what impact you have on your family, friends and the remaining masses.  If we learn from our mistakes, hopefully we won't repeat them.  If we set realistic goals, detours along the way won't matter, success is all that matters.  Would I like to be famous, wealthy and "good looking".  That would be nice, but again my heart in its simple beauty, is peaceful and perhaps somewhat famous, it is still a work in progress.

So, Fred's News is a memory, a good and successful one at that.  Did I cry as we locked the door for a final time. Yes, but I cried as I carefully packed a lifetime worth of memories for the next chapter in their journey.  I found my children's baby teeth and shoes, packed neatly in the bottom of my cedar chest.  I found cards made by their tiny hands and cards made by loving customers of Fred's News.  I re-packed these memories and cried.  It wasn't so much sadness, I looked forward to our new journey, it was knowing others would miss us, there would be a void in their lives, yet I knew they would survive, we all do.  As for my children, they ARE my children, I never worry they will disappear from my life.  I have been successful in raising them all.  Yes, they have faults, we all do. The Egg-Nazi, my soul mate, best friend and confidant, at times reminded me, "take it easy, look at it through others eyes." 

At times I close my eyes and visualize in my mind the little restaurant called Fred's News and the impact it has had on so many lives.  I can still smell the early morning air, muffins baking, home fries cooking, voices calling out..."You opened yet?"  "Come in my friend, coffee is on....conversation is good, friends are near."
Fred's News was a  "Constant Place" because of the two people that owned it and their children. Yes, the Egg-Nazi was the "hoss" but the boss is an unassuming average upper middle aged woman, whose fierce and demanding tangent personality, brought out both the good and bad in many, yet always found a way to make that person feel special.  In the hustle and bustle of the everyday demanding schedule of Fred's News, her growing children, and Fred's News family, she found a way to be successful, to have a peaceful heart and soul and to move on and grow.  She, hopefully along with her husband and children has left a legacy in the little Town of Sprague.  She cried as she locked the door, but she did not look back...her job was done,  She would miss all that she nurtured, she knew she and her brood would be missed as well, yet there was confidence in her gait...she had done well, it was time to move on, time to grow.  Fred's News will be remembered for it is "A Constant Place"