Agility Ain't What it Used to Be!

Rarely is there a time I have had to take medicine for some sort of illness or pain.  Never have I been injured and have had to miss work for an injury.  Today is the exception.  Due to a freak mishap, yesterday, I now have to wear a boot on my foot for the next four to six weeks.  Yes, I broke a bone in my foot after stepping on a lone bottle cap, that reacted to the one hundred thirty pound squishing, much like a slippery banana peel.  The series of events that led to this broke bone, lasted no more than five seconds, yet had it been in slow motion, one might of thought it as an avoidable mishap. Turning to my right to retrieve papers from a wall pouch, I caught the discarded cap, barely under the arch of my right foot, the slide ensued, I body slammed a tram filled with pastries,(this wall did not budge), bounced backwards, but in that brief second flash I thought.......I'm fu*#ed!  Deciding in a millisecond....put the hand down, don't let your head hit the floor...whew!  So, the injuries included a bruised right wrist, sore left ribs from the body slam into the tram of sweets and a broken bone in my right foot from that God-blessed bottle cap.  Yes, I was very lucky, tomorrow I go back to work with a boot.  Truly amazing how drugs can work.

All of this leads to the years of self employment at Fred's News.  Through sickness and injury, you worked.  Bill's theory as to why I am going back to work tomorrow..."you are a quick healer, a tough seasoned bird,(he knew better than to use the "old' adjective), and years of self employment, left the wimpy attitude at the door.  Oh yes, don't forget drugs, they help an aged body feel much better quicker.  As we travelled through the years of Fred's, luckily injuries or sickness were few and far between, never the two of us at the same time.  Bill or Wimpy Bill, as the sign above the grill announced, had the flu for two consecutive years.  Between sons Todd and Mark, we plodded through as the wimp stayed upstairs in bed, feeling as though he been put through a wringer.  Then there was the time Mr. Bill, the former basketball coach decided to play with other "seasoned men" and twisted his ankle on the court, declaring, "it's fine, be good as new in the morning!"  Yeh, right, can't remember who filled in that day.
Yes, how about the time of the sciatica attack, no one filled in, we spent hours in the emergency room, not sure what the hell was wrong, but opened later that day.  Poor Bill couldn't get out of bed, I wanted to call the ambulance, "no way, with a few expletives mixed in, I can get up!"  Not with out major help buddy boy!  I recall standing on the bed over him, grabbing his hands and pulling, pulling and more pulling.  Finally that two hundred fifty pounds of pain rolled enough so he could sit up.  They asked him at the hospital what his level of pain was, on a scale of one to ten.  Good thing he answered ten, otherwise I might have had to inject my thoughts on that subject.  To the rescue......morphine!  Yes more drugs, but it worked.  As the pain subsided and the doctors decided he was not going "die from the inside out", his mood changed.  He even agreed to go for acupuncture, which by the way, cured him from all pain, that has never returned.  He could of probably used morphine once again when he injured himself jumping over a large hole, rather than walking around.  He cleared the diameter of the hole, it was the landing on the other side.  As his size thirteens hit the ground, the loose stones sent him into an uncontrollable slide, which produced a badly bruised rib cage and a slight concussion.  He must of thought his agility that of a sixteen year old!

Luckily the only body injuries I suffered at Fred's, were a few cuts and a very sore butt, as I slid all the way down the backstairs, one snowy winter day.  I did however, end up in the hospital, after taking prescribed drugs for two inner ear infections.  That was not fun.  Having never really been sick and never taking prescription drugs, the one time I have to...yes, an allergic reaction.  That kept me in the hospital for three days and a total weight loss of twenty pounds.  Great for diet, not so much for the pocketbook.

In the long run, we count our lucky stars and thank God everyday we have little to complain about.  Yes, everyday is an adventure, what new ache or pain are you going to wake up with.  It truly amazes me how you can go to bed feeling wonderful and wake up feeling so crappy!!