As with all stories. some are good, others not so much! Some are heartwarming and poignant, other may tug at the heartstrings and some quite different. Months ago, an Oprah telecast, had well known celebrities, in deep conversations with Dr. Oz. Most of the show was dedicated to major health issues, but the interesting and most comical conversations revolved strictly around human excrement, otherwise simply known as POOP!
How these topics are presented play a large part in how they are accepted. For instance, the late George Carlin, an outstanding yet contoversial comic, whose wide range of topics were delivered with "who gives a flying crap" attitude, usually saved personal habits of the human species for the last few minutes of his dialogue. When asked why, his response, "I always save the best shit for last!" Anything that might possible be viewed as disgusting is definitely worthy of a laugh! Even Dr. Oz seriously lecturing viewers to "look at their feces" drew chuckles and embarassed stares from his A-list Guests. Perhaps the Oprah show should have been broadcast from an "Active Senior Community", bowel habits are the normal topics of conversation, even in the restaurant. As one older gentleman downs a bowl of oatmeal, topped with half a cup of brown sugar and an abundant serving of "plumped" raisins, his inner thoughts freely flowing from his food filled mouth, "my guts have been killing me lately, this ought to cure it!" My guess, the "plumped" raisins know right where to go!
As an observer of people, their style of walking tells alot about what their brain is trying to relay to their respective, bladders and/or colons. With no two people alike, depending on the message they are receiving from their brain, walking/running techniques may be very similar. While trying to dissect this procedure I have found it much easier to break it into categories, children first: with this group there is a sub-category, diaper wearers, better known as infants. It is at this age, we as adults find anything they do, adorable. Perhaps a little less so if you are the designated diaper changer, better known as the "ass-wiper!" At this stage we observe the human feces, immediately knowing if this child is eating correctly. Much like my friend consuming the "plumped raisins", the results are very much similar!.
Our next group, still very much a sub-category of the first, is again divided into yet another sub-category. Toddler-through young adolescents; an interesting and exciting group to observe! The joy of "potty training" also allows the parent, grandparents and anyone else within close proximity of the first "poop in the potty," all by their tiny little self, to be observed up close and personal! Sheer joy may quickly change to terrifying moments, while at the mall or on vacation. I believe, a child grabbing his /her crotch and/or rear-end, crying and sobbing uncontrollably, while being dragged through the crowd, by an enraged parent, quite a thrill! It is at this point, a sprinter or possible marathoner might emerge years down the road. As I observe, a feeling of self satisfaction emerges, "ah yes, been there done that," floats through the cluttered mind!
Our next group, teen-agers, have a less than exciting time with body excrement from the anus. Probably a good thing,their lives are filled with new and exciting challenges daily. Their decisions whether or not to pee or poop anywhere or put it off to a later time, are most admirable. They could also care what it looks like as well! It is at this age "farting" is the norm, smell says it all! As the twenty-something years approach, the male and female species part their ways on this subject...unless of course they become the "Mommy marathoner" or "Daddy sprinter!"
Uneventful middle years, may be divided into sub-categories as well. Thirty-somethings may give way to the slouches of the forty-somethings and as the half-century mark approaches, peeing and pooping somehow begin to make their way back to the fore-front of a "healthier lifestyle." Recently- a friend, in his later fifties, mentioned he'd been visiting with relatives, eating richer than usual foods. Celebrations for the holidays, eating out more than usual, and perhaps a tad bit too much alcohol consumption was causing "gastro-intestinal distress." Sensing his embarrassment, I blurted out, "Hemmoroids getting to you?" The redness disappearing from his face, I attempt to hold back the laughter, the story unfolded. Without going into such gory detail, the bottom line was emerald-green poop! Dinner at a Mexican restaurant, too many jalapeno laced Margarita's and.........one As*hole, spewing "green fire-laced lava," just to tickle the fancy! But........ at least he"s looking at his poop!
How these topics are presented play a large part in how they are accepted. For instance, the late George Carlin, an outstanding yet contoversial comic, whose wide range of topics were delivered with "who gives a flying crap" attitude, usually saved personal habits of the human species for the last few minutes of his dialogue. When asked why, his response, "I always save the best shit for last!" Anything that might possible be viewed as disgusting is definitely worthy of a laugh! Even Dr. Oz seriously lecturing viewers to "look at their feces" drew chuckles and embarassed stares from his A-list Guests. Perhaps the Oprah show should have been broadcast from an "Active Senior Community", bowel habits are the normal topics of conversation, even in the restaurant. As one older gentleman downs a bowl of oatmeal, topped with half a cup of brown sugar and an abundant serving of "plumped" raisins, his inner thoughts freely flowing from his food filled mouth, "my guts have been killing me lately, this ought to cure it!" My guess, the "plumped" raisins know right where to go!
As an observer of people, their style of walking tells alot about what their brain is trying to relay to their respective, bladders and/or colons. With no two people alike, depending on the message they are receiving from their brain, walking/running techniques may be very similar. While trying to dissect this procedure I have found it much easier to break it into categories, children first: with this group there is a sub-category, diaper wearers, better known as infants. It is at this age, we as adults find anything they do, adorable. Perhaps a little less so if you are the designated diaper changer, better known as the "ass-wiper!" At this stage we observe the human feces, immediately knowing if this child is eating correctly. Much like my friend consuming the "plumped raisins", the results are very much similar!.
Our next group, still very much a sub-category of the first, is again divided into yet another sub-category. Toddler-through young adolescents; an interesting and exciting group to observe! The joy of "potty training" also allows the parent, grandparents and anyone else within close proximity of the first "poop in the potty," all by their tiny little self, to be observed up close and personal! Sheer joy may quickly change to terrifying moments, while at the mall or on vacation. I believe, a child grabbing his /her crotch and/or rear-end, crying and sobbing uncontrollably, while being dragged through the crowd, by an enraged parent, quite a thrill! It is at this point, a sprinter or possible marathoner might emerge years down the road. As I observe, a feeling of self satisfaction emerges, "ah yes, been there done that," floats through the cluttered mind!
Our next group, teen-agers, have a less than exciting time with body excrement from the anus. Probably a good thing,their lives are filled with new and exciting challenges daily. Their decisions whether or not to pee or poop anywhere or put it off to a later time, are most admirable. They could also care what it looks like as well! It is at this age "farting" is the norm, smell says it all! As the twenty-something years approach, the male and female species part their ways on this subject...unless of course they become the "Mommy marathoner" or "Daddy sprinter!"
Uneventful middle years, may be divided into sub-categories as well. Thirty-somethings may give way to the slouches of the forty-somethings and as the half-century mark approaches, peeing and pooping somehow begin to make their way back to the fore-front of a "healthier lifestyle." Recently- a friend, in his later fifties, mentioned he'd been visiting with relatives, eating richer than usual foods. Celebrations for the holidays, eating out more than usual, and perhaps a tad bit too much alcohol consumption was causing "gastro-intestinal distress." Sensing his embarrassment, I blurted out, "Hemmoroids getting to you?" The redness disappearing from his face, I attempt to hold back the laughter, the story unfolded. Without going into such gory detail, the bottom line was emerald-green poop! Dinner at a Mexican restaurant, too many jalapeno laced Margarita's and.........one As*hole, spewing "green fire-laced lava," just to tickle the fancy! But........ at least he"s looking at his poop!
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