Although annoyingly strange, "Johann, the Nephew....Great", oddly enough, at times, could be a warm-hearted individual, that actually and interestingly enough, you enjoyed engaging in conversation with. Yes, his miser like personality did show signs of cracking during the holiday season. Did he spend money on gifts? An adamant no on that one...Scrooge prevailed! Did he enjoy the holiday decorations? Oh, absolutely! His theory, build it bigger,build it better and build it ridiculously outrageous, "they will come!" At least they will talk about it.
His yard made Sanford and Son's junkyard look like a playground, Mad Max would be more at home there! Johann wanted a Christmas Star...not your ordinary star, but like him, different. He set about scouring the front yard for parts, any parts that would or could be used to hoist THIS star high above any other part of the landscape...why buy anything and start anew, when half the battle was finding all the crap you needed in the first place, right there in your front yard. If it wasn't there, in Johann's world, it didn't exist. Well maybe "the Brothers" garage would also relinquish a treasure or two. Understand this strange and bizarre behavior of never throwing anything away, bartering for everything and hoarding, as if every "cold season" was a "survival of the fittest", was an inherited trait. He may not have been the "fruit of their loin", but there was no doubt....BLOOD RELATIVES!
Ah yes, the star, itself, ordinary. Large, five points, all lights, mounted on a wire frame, nothing too unusual about that. The height, slightly mind boggling, to think he could build anything that tall, especially out of spare parts. Every length of pipe, all different, each welded by Johann himself....We know this because his disgustingly dirty, tattered blue denim and flannel lined shirt (L.L. Bean & Co.), bore the burn holes from errant sparks,the results of welding all this shit together. Just for the record, L.L. Bean has a policy, if something doesn't last, return it to the store, replacement guaranteed. THAT shirt would of been a challenge! Knowing his miser qualities, I truly thought I should tell him of L.L. Bean's policy...that little voice told me....DO NOT GO THERE!
The only issue I had with the piece of holiday decor, Johann, after hoisting this ......mammoth into the air, on the end of this enormous half-ass built crane, needed help in stabilizing it, as it swung in the breeze. Someone would have to climb to the top, someone not afraid of death defying heights nor Johann's welding ability. God knows he had a volunteer, one of our children. At least they had the sense NOT to tell me, until the job had been completed!
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