Today Mr. Bill returned to the Urologist. The good news...the catheter is out. Still no pathology report but the Egg-Nazi and I are optimistic. Medicine for the rest of his life, hoping it works soon, the Doctor worries of renal failure. For now, Mr. Bill is happy he can just use it for his bodily functions!!!
All of this has led to discussions of friends medical dramas during the Fred's News years. We have also heard from many well wishers, a big thanks for that. Really, now that we think about and discuss these memories, nothing was sacred and I do mean nothing. Without mentioning names, one of our most beloved morning regulars, who recently passed away, required circumcision surgery at the age of sixty. Yes, he was scared, somewhat embarrassed, but needed to discuss his problem Who better to ask, his early morning buddies at Fred's. He knew what the consequences of baring all were, but he needed support. For the most part, they were sympathetic, but as soon as they knew he was okay....no holes barred, they were brutal. He survived, his manhood discussed openly. He probably would of shown it to anyone who asked, thankfully no one did!!
"Johann the Nephew...Great" was another medical phenomenon. Constantly working on "projects" that put his body in harms way, it is a miracle the man still lives. Can't remember exactly what it was that created a gash on his index finger just above the knuckle, it should have been closed by numerous stitches. First disinfecting not only the finger but the person owning the finger. He came to me at Fred's seeking advice and medical help. I soon realized he was not going to the hospital, so either I fix it or he probably would loose it to infection. Peroxide, scissors, sterilized needle, thread, gauze and an "O" ring, fifteen minutes later good as new. Mr. Macho nephew was not above screaming as I disinfected the hand. He wiggle, trying to release my grasp, but I held firm, his arm tucked under mine, hand over the sink, peroxide oozing all over the bleeding gash. As I washed all the grease and grime from the wound, I do think he threatened me. I reminded him, "HE CAME TO ME". I politely told him to shut up (Shut the F-up), patrons of the restaurant would hear his cries. We were using the back bathroom as our triage room. He sooned learned it was all about choices, he had made his. Five years later, the wound now only a tiny scar, completely healed...my God what a whimp!!!
My favorite medical discussion...Lyme Disease. Quite prevalent in our area, many patrons having it more than once. Big Nick, also known as Nicolas the Czar, very thick headed about seeking medical attention. He knew our feelings about that, it was something you didn't fool with...seek a Doctors' advice. After Johann's experience, Nick didn't ask for medical help, he chose a professional...Oh well!!! I think, I have seen my fair share of tick bites, that were diagnosed as Lyme disease. For some reason, patrons felt they needed to share ALL the info with us. I walked through the back door one afternoon, standing there in only his underwear, Jim was showing all the old guys the tick bite on the thigh. After the initial shock of someone in their underwear, I too was invited to take a look....OMG nasty!! Put your pants back on!
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