Poop dee-do!

Yesterday, in passing conversation, Mr. Bill asked.....How the hell do you come up with these little tidbits.  Simply put, I have no idea.  All this and more continuously flood my mind.  Some pertain to Fred's News, others, nope, nadda, not really.  Image drifting off to sleep, allowing the dreams to begin, circling round and round between fantasy and reality.  That is my mind even as I lay wide awake, analyzing my day, my life and the lives of those I love and cherish.   But, it doesn't end there,  my  journeys, some taken, some beckoning, waiting for me to breathe life into them.  On every road I have travelled,  even the new and uncharted, I try to make each unique and exciting, joking that even the mundane holds a tale to be told.   Much like Mr. Bill and his uncanny timing and delivery of a joke, just give me a name,place or whatever...my imagination will turn it into a moment, locking it away only to reboot and surface when least expected.   Unlike my devoted life partner and soul mate, my timing, well let's just say...it sucks!  Ain't that poetic!

My sons always say "Mom, get to the point for Christ's sake!"  Okay, yesterday, Halloween, loads of candy, little kids, cute costumes, more candy, more cute kids, more candy, hyper on sugar kids, more candy, screaming little kids, parents trying to calm down, crazed on sugar-over tired kids.  I am hobbling to the pool bar (foot healing well), because they have called me, announcing, "We need more candy!"  Dear God...please no more candy.  So....as I hobble by the pool, I see a cute little kid who then says..(this is the God's truth),"Lady I think somebody pooped in the kiddie pool!"  Nice!  Actually, I alerted the life guard, called custodial, everybody out of the pool ( thankfully only the kiddie pool).  Now, as I wait for custodial, my mind drifts to some of the sick Fred's News conversations.  Jimmy as toast person, Alex and Patrick taking orders, joking with Mr. Bill about farts, their intensity (determined by what you consumed the previous evening) and other bodily functions,  Their favorite topic, after women, "stink pickles!" .Every day I thank God the hood fan at Fred's News, masked the conversations as well as the sounds and smells their bodies emitted, resulting from over indulgence in beer the previous night.  So, I am getting to the point in a very long and roundabout way.  As I stand at the edge of the kiddie pool, observing the foreign object at the bottom, my imagination beginning to rebel, not listening as I try to focus on the moment, drifts into the" Baby Ruth in pool"  joke, told numerous times in Fred's News.  Considering all the G-damn candy that has passed through the hands of the masses today, one can only hope that is what is lying in the center of the kiddie pool.  As the sun was already setting, the coolness of the evening sending a chill into the few remaining guests waiting to see just what the foreign object actually was, a very tired and irritated young mom approached me.  "I am so sorry" she apologizes, "my son just told me, he thought it would be funny to throw a small candy bar into the pool."  His father, is making him apologize this very moment to the life guards."  I asked the young lady where she hailed from.  If only for a moment, I feared she knew the sick group that once called Fred's News home.  Foreign object retrieved...identified...a Butterfinger....not the dreaded "Stink Pickle" as I had feared.