Join or Leave!

The Egg-Nazi and I were out and about in the neighborhood recently, always in search of "the local coffee shop."  We have found a couple, but none really that have the intimacy of a Fred's News.  Up the street from the "Caddy Shack"  in our community, is a place called "The Main Street Diner"  Not a dining car type building, it is nothing special from the outside.  Cute and neat as a pin inside, there are a couple of things that stops it from being a Fred's News.  No counter with stools and the kitchen is not visible to the patrons.  The cook/owner does make herself available for viewing occasionally.  The three regular waitstaff know patrons by names, remember events in their lives and the area, ask folks if they are having their "regular" and have brought sarcasm and wit to new levels.

If this little place had the counter with stools, it definitely would fit the Fred's News motif.  Stools have a tendency to bring out "the best" in patrons.  Ironically, there are a couple of chairs close to the kitchen, allowing the "regulars" to sit and chat with their help.  The chairs are also used by the people who happen to stop in, see friends, but there is no room to sit, they just pull up the extra chair....invited or not.  Sometimes a silly memory enters the cob webs in the noggin.....Fred's News had stools.  These particular stools spun around, allowing the seat part to be taken off.  If the regulars were paying attention, seeing an "undesirable" stop at Fred's, they would hurriedly grab the seat off the stool, hiding it in the back or behind the counter.  Usually it was the seat right next to them......"Oh too bad, the seat is broken, you could of joined us!" Oh how evil, but the best reply, I have heard for that..."Oh I told my family you would be here, they are thrilled, won't you please join us at a TABLE?"   Yeah, join or leave!!  One time I was not paying attention, someone managed to take the seat off the stool base, hiding it in the back room.  I came around the corner just as the "undesirable" was looking for a seat.  Not realizing what the regulars had done, I grabbed the seat..."Hey, what's the top of the stool doing in the back room, guys"?  If looks could kill, yep, I'd be dead!  My retort...."join  or leave!!!