Vacation Time!!!

Day two of my first vacation in three years.  As I prepare to head off to to hospital land...yes, the Egg Nazi in residence there, not sure for how.  Severe abdominal pains late Saturday night, I arrive home only to find a note on the front door.  Joe (friend) took Bill to emergency room with severe abdominal stress!  Let's rewind, if only for a moment.  As I exited the Wilderness Lodge about 2AM my cell phone beeped.  Ah yes, a message.  A very weak sounding Mr. Bill, "Don't know what's wrong, feel like crap, my stomach is killing me, these G-damn cells phones aren't worth a crap..I can't get you."  Yes, welcome to vacation time!   Further into the message...."I tried calling you in your office, you aren't there."  For the record, I was there, the ringing phone a figment of his imagination or the switchboard was screwed up!  I'll bet on his imagination, he was in pain, not a good thing for the Egg-Nazi.  We always joke, if he has pain, it's usually a given he will keel over and faint.  He tries not to, but it is usually check out time for him!

Sooooo, I try calling him..first the house phone, then his cell, no answer!  As I call info for the number to the local hospital, the God-blessed fog thicker than crap, the recording announces, "we will connect you for no extra charge, please press one."  Cool! as I creep along in the murkiness of the night...no ringing can mean only one thing....a dropped call!  We begin the process again.  This time making it to the hospital switchboard saying, please hold, I will connect you to the ER.  Cool!  as I creep along in the murkiness of the night...no ringing can only mean one thing...a dropped call!  I know I repeated the same thing,,,for a reason.  This process happened five times on way long ride home...each time increasing my blood pressure to unthinkable heights!  Just a few days again, a survey appeared in the paper.  A certain cell phone provider was rated as the worst!  Yes, it is MY provider, a national company spending millions on advertising yet I can't make a G-damn phone call to the hospital.  Realizing it isn't going to happen, I creep along hoping to find out soon, what the hell is going on.  Arriving I find Mr, Bill's truck in the driveway.  Cool!  I  head to the front door, the note attached to it.

Now we are about three and a half hours into the vacation, not good.  Finally I get a response from the critical care unit as the hospital, he is there, I can speak with him.  "I couldn't get in touch with you, these G-damn cell phones aren't worth a crap!"  You are absolutely, positively correct Mr. Bill, I'll be right there!  Off I go, the little man at the guard shack, looking rather strange at me.  This is same guy that always says,"out a little late tonight, aren't you Missy?" when I arrive home at these ungodly hours.  He hadn't seem me moments ago, I arrived as he was out making his rounds.  One can only imagine what is going through the little pisser's mind as I leave at three in the morning.  Betcha he didn't question the two guys leaving at one.  Probably gave them the thumbs up.."Go for it guys!"  Oh Bastard!