Obviously some of the things that wander aimlessly through my mind, pop out when I least expect. People who know me need take only one look........"Yes, she's having a moment!" God love my job, yesterday as I am making my rounds, heading toward the pool bar, in eighty-two degrees, perfectly sunny breezey weather, (just a reminder for you Northern folks!), an older man, whose physique resembled a slightly large overstuffed chair, sat precariously on the edge of a groaning chaisse lounger. Probably might not of noticed, but, it was, the BUTT! Dear God Carpenter Crack in all it's glory. I do understand people on vacation, what they do and how they dress, not their normal behaviors and wardrobe, it's a time for their alter-egos to run free. Hey, hey they need a vaction too! Many times I have heard (in Fred's News) comments from certain gentlemen, the Egg-Naz and co-hortsi included: A shapely female walks in, short skirt, "tiny hiney" (Male term), my God look at those legs, they go on forever! Not to break the trance of the shapely female, BUTT fat guy on the groaning chaisse lounge...Carpenter Crack that amazed!! It went on forever, can't imagine where and oh God NO...don't care to know where it ended!
This whole stupid thought IS about Carpenter Crack. If one happens to be a Carpenter Crack aficionado...yeah....Fred's News was like the Patagonia for bird watchers! Sorry! For the record..we will blame it on the stools. Carpenter Crack is mostly visible with the male species, bellying-up to the bar, they straddle the stool, learn forward, elbows on the counter,(sorry MOM), forgetting to pull their G-damn pants up! Such was my friend on the chaisse-lounger, wet bathing suit, fat gut and butt, no thought about ass-coverage, resulting in severe Carpenter Crack. One must trust me on this subject...I have seen many shapes, sizes and....well maybe that's enough....we ALL understand!
Ladies, you are not immune, although a rarity, their have been sightings! Unlike the male Carpenter Crack, the female, knows it's making it's debut, so....they deck it out in all it's glory...yes, the thong! With a variety of colors, fabric and dear GOD, size, it is the ultimate whistle call....over here, yoo-hoo look at me! Again Fred's News, the perfect viewing medium. Saturday or Sunday mornings, many high school students, low rider jeans or roll top sweats.....deck that baby out with a valentine red thong or leopard spots....Patrick, Jimmy or Alex, ALWAYS offered to clean tables! They too, had a way of relaying their findings amongst themselves, so as not to be too obvious. It did make me a little nervous when they'd laugh and say, "Which one does she have on today?" TMI overload!
This whole stupid thought IS about Carpenter Crack. If one happens to be a Carpenter Crack aficionado...yeah....Fred's News was like the Patagonia for bird watchers! Sorry! For the record..we will blame it on the stools. Carpenter Crack is mostly visible with the male species, bellying-up to the bar, they straddle the stool, learn forward, elbows on the counter,(sorry MOM), forgetting to pull their G-damn pants up! Such was my friend on the chaisse-lounger, wet bathing suit, fat gut and butt, no thought about ass-coverage, resulting in severe Carpenter Crack. One must trust me on this subject...I have seen many shapes, sizes and....well maybe that's enough....we ALL understand!
Ladies, you are not immune, although a rarity, their have been sightings! Unlike the male Carpenter Crack, the female, knows it's making it's debut, so....they deck it out in all it's glory...yes, the thong! With a variety of colors, fabric and dear GOD, size, it is the ultimate whistle call....over here, yoo-hoo look at me! Again Fred's News, the perfect viewing medium. Saturday or Sunday mornings, many high school students, low rider jeans or roll top sweats.....deck that baby out with a valentine red thong or leopard spots....Patrick, Jimmy or Alex, ALWAYS offered to clean tables! They too, had a way of relaying their findings amongst themselves, so as not to be too obvious. It did make me a little nervous when they'd laugh and say, "Which one does she have on today?" TMI overload!
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