Senseless Meandering!

With the resolution thing behind me now and a fresh start on the horizon, I can look to the past as I plan my immediate attack for the rest of the year. My long term goals are another book, not necessarily about our former life as restaurant owners but quite possibly these moments will be incorporated into the story line.  Life is intertwined with its past triumphs, tragedies, pitfalls and just plain everyday events that have a need to be shared.  Depending on the time of day, mood, weather, conversation and anything else that passes by one of my senses, all are fodder for a story.  Knowing that all of this horse poop does not make sense (it doesn't for me either,) is all the more reason this jungle of words, thoughts and pictures that journey through my mind, looking for a place to colonize, need to be be recorded.

Case in point: The optometrist peers closely into my eyes,  his bright light allowing my tear ducts to release a torrent of water, his every breath ever so close, I can almost hear his heart beat. My thoughts should be, "what is he looking at, what is the source of his almost militant razor sharp focus?"  Instead the warmth of his breath and loud labored breathing suggest," my ears are just fine, but probably a sinus medication would allow me the ability to breathe better."  For the moment I was thankful, he had just returned from lunch! His labored breathing suggests he too has a sinus problem or his belt is too tight. Not sure what he had for lunch, my nose was plugged and depending on how you look at it, that could go either way, good or bad. Another thought, maybe the man has a deviated septum?! From my prospective, the eternity he spent looking through that tiny pinhole, emitting that God-forsaken blinding light, it's probably a blessing, he couldn't "see" my thoughts!

As the craziness of moments continue to swirl, much like the drawing of the random lottery numbers, one bit of a conversation, gesture or picture will pop forth announcing " Hi, what ya doing?  It's my moment, share me!"  Silly as it sounds those moments know nothing about timing!  Some one's perfume or gesture maybe the key to unlock the unpretentious rusty cobweb covered door in my brain, releasing those misfit thoughts, all fighting each other for recognition. From all this silly turmoil and child-like temper tantrums, one vivid image emerges, the brain noise ceases, if only for a moment tranquility returns.  This idea or vision may sit dormant, although tired, the battle won, it begins a new strategy, "how will I motivate this slightly aging but over active well seasoned woman who thrives on procrastinating, to write about, me?"  Body and mind need to be as one and in my world, "that ain't gonna happen!" We therefore categorize thoughts:" Crazy nothings,"these can be hysterical, mean nothing or something, have no set outline for revealing themselves and no direction whatsoever, kind of like this current story. "Tear jerkers," come directly from the heart and have outsmarted the crazy nothings, fighting for recognition in the brain, these are purely feminine!  "That's a fact," stories of past events, people and places that can be swayed by the "crazies" or those fluffy frilly "tear jerkers!"  How often each appear, depends. entirely on me and the effects of my life and those who surround me. 

Perhaps meditation would work but that requires slowing down and concentrating, so we won't go there!  I walk, breathing in the tropical moisture and soaking up the warmth of the Florida sun.  Vitamin D in this form, no calories!  Maybe exercise class, there is a sign up sheet in the club house at our community, it reads, "Exercise yourself back to a healthier lifestyle. Please wear loose fitting clothing!"  Much like this article, that makes absolutely no sense to me.  If I had loose fitting clothing I wouldn't be contemplating exercise classes!